


Her

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Letters, Psychology, Runningfromhome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-04-24 02:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19164277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A girl and a golden retriever must find their way back to their father's house after breaking out of a psychological hospital.





	1. Chapter 1

Walking into the heartless manufactory, I felt a sudden tenseness that entered into my body. A feeling that I had never before in my life.   
“Consider all that we do for you,” the mental health advisory had always told me. “At least we are a lot better compared to the foolishness that your father brought.” I thought back on the words, reflecting on them. She was probably right, yet no matter how hard I tried, the gnawing feeling continued to bare his teeth into me. His jaw stabbed me in the heart, wriggling itself to make a deeper gash inside.   
Getting on my bike, I wheeled my way across the entire theme park. Deep inside, I could feel the fear inside of me. It’s nothing, I kept saying to myself. I need to get back to the hospital. The night droned on, baring her teeth with her darkness. The only thing that eased her anger was the lighting of the moon. I always looked up to the moon for a sense of hope. It had always given me an empowerment throughout the most troubling of times.  
My bicycle meandered throughout the chutes and alleys of town as I struggled to get to the hospital. On the side, several road ways led in different directions. The signs to their left showed danger if I went in a certain direction. Ignoring the temptation, I went along on my usual route—past ciruit road to the other end of Hampton Boulevard.  
Skidding to a halt, I walked inside and headed straight for my bedroom. Just as my therapist came to the opening of the room, I grabbed a book and put it close to my face.  
“Ah, I see you are reading; very healthy for you if you ask me,” she said as she set down my tray. Grabbing the spoon, I knelt down and devoured eggs into my mouth. She smiled, suspecting nothing.  
“I’d wish you the best for you getting healed,” the nurse said, “but I would very much rather wish it to someone that actually desired to feel better instead of sitting around in bed doing nothing.” My eyes flashed as they rested underneath the page.  
“Well carry on then,” she said, leaving the room. My teeth chewed against the squishy texture of the egg, reminding me of the sponges that I had swallowed when I was four years old, and my mother had ordered that I take it out of my mouth. As dull as the eggs may have tasted, they filled my mind with memories, reminding me of the simple days.  
No, no, all wrong. Those days never existed, and hopefully they never will. I shut out the light and placed the book away from me. Looking out the window, I could see nothing but the night sky smothering the rest of the world. I liked the darkness. The soothing silence gave me a purpose for me to live—it gave me a hiding place where I could depart.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking through the halls of the hospital reminded me of trying to pull a boulder across the room—it felt lonesome and tiresome. I looked at some of the doors that I passed by. I dare not look inside of the doors and find out what went on within the inner chambers.  
I knew where the doctor was taking me—I just didn’t want to go. The sound of my feet rubbing against the surface of the floor caused me to become very frightened.  
***  
“Alright everyone! How about we all try and whenever the ball comes to us, we say what our name and favorite animal is!” Dr. Fried said. All of us sat around in our daily meeting times for the circle game. This was meant to help us all interact with the other patients around us. I looked over at Slanky over there, who had a long neck like a giraffe.   
For a second, I imagined him using that neck to wrap around Dr. Fried until she suffocated to death.  
The ball went out. The first person to receive it was Slanky.   
“Say your name,” the doctor said. Slanky froze like an icicle.  
“Your favorite animal?” I could see him wrapping himself around Dr. Fried like a Boa Constrictor. Oozing his way around her body, he squeezed and squeeed until Dr. Fried just begged him to stop, but her voice would all be for avail, for Slanky would have wrapped himself so much around Dr. Fried.  
The ball landed on my lap. I did not know if Slanky had really given any answer at all or not.  
“Name?”  
“Hi, I’m Lexi,” I said. “My favorite animal is the moose.” Dr. Fried brightened up as she heard my answer.  
“Lexi! I see that you have received much improvement. I passed the ball to the person next to me. Looking up at the clock, I sighed. I never heard any of the other names being said; all I could see was Dr. Fried suffocating under the pressure exerted upon her. Her hands reached up, clamping onto his stiff neck—bu he wouldn’t let go.  
I knew really why he had such a stiff neck. I knew that it was a birth defect. I knew that deep inside he was ashamed of it. I knew that deep down he wanted more than anything to just be like everyone else.  
I just hadn’t cared enough to actually go up to him and talk to him. My fingers went underneath my chair. I waited as the ball continued passing around one person to the other until it stopped at Dr. Fried.  
“Thank you everyone for participating,” she said. “Lunch time is almost ready now that we are already done.” I looked over at Slanky, who was sitting there in that crooked posture while his neck was arched forward. The people all got up from their seats in mild eagerness; Slanky sat there quietly, not moving a single muscle, sitting alone.


	3. A Strange Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexi realizes that Slanky is a lot different compared to the other kids at school, causing her to realize she needed to change the way she acted.

“Hey,” I said, approaching Slanky in the middle of the cafeteria. Slanky sat with that brooding look as he picked his fork in the middle of his spaghetti. Twirling it around and around, his hands never seemed to stop spinning the fork inside his hands, almost like the entire experience mesmerized him. People say that men like to brood. People say that so often they tend to be inside their heads a lot, but just seeing Slanky made me feel that nobody ought to feel this way.  
“Hey, I find it interesting that your favorite animal is a giraffe,” I said. Slanky refused to make eye-contact with me, slowly eating the pasta on his plate. I leaned in closer to him; I was tired of being restrained and pulled down by all the people that told me I should stop being in other people’s faces.  
“H-e-e-llo?!” I cried, waving my hand in his face. Slanky shriveled up in his chair. His palm pressed down over his heart like he was having some kind of seizure attack in his chair. “No, no, I’m sorry!” I said quickly.   
Talk about awkward conversations.   
Some of the nurses rushed into the room. Their hands clasped onto Slanky’s shoulders as they led him out of the room. Slowly his breathing calmed down. The distress I had just caused him faded away.  
“It’s ok. It’s ok,” I could barely hear the doctor’s say inside his ears. Remaining behind, I watched as they gave me a dirty look before leading him away. One of the nurses approached me with a deep scowl across my face.  
“Never, ever, do that again!”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Maybe if you paid more attention to the lessons, you would have been able to interpret his communications,” she said with a scowl before she moved away. The entire cafeteria seemed to be paying attention to me. I shifted from one leg to the next, wondering what had just happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long day for the two protagonists. The two of them start concocting an escape.

The nurses had their heads turned to one another, not even keeping a single regard of the children around them. I could not stop looking at Slanky. All sorts of voices filled inside my head.  
“He was taken in by a serial killer…”  
“Some say he doesn’t talk because he never had any parents…”  
“….Hard to tell what’s going on inside his mind…”  
There really wasn’t a whole lot about Slanky’s past that was known. He kept himself on the side. I could almost wonder what kind of effect that I had on him when I pulled him out in the middle of the night. The rhythm in the night continued ringing inside of my mind. I moved the drum sticks with my hands, like I had a form of air sticks inside my hands and I was hitting several drums like the guy on the stage. The sticks traveled across the air with swiftness and power that went around. So many toms and snares were set up in front of me.   
I could have stayed in the moment of drumming for forever. I could have just kept pulling out all the punches, except there was really nothing that I could do in the midst of this room. I could not express myself any further. I looked over at Slanky, who merely sat quietly drawing on the piece of paper.  
One person played on a walkie-talkie, to which the doctor smacked it out of his hand with a “Don’t touch that!” Another had down-syndrome and sat there on the wheel chair as he had another boy run around him.  
“Lunch time everyone!” shouted the doctor as if she was a military general preparing to line us all up for execution. All the kids lined up. “Slanky, Slanky,” called the doctor before she just decided to leave him.  
On the piece of paper I saw the name “Kevin” written on it. On the paper I could see a stage with a drummer on the stage.   
***  
“Slanky sure seems weird,” one of the patients said. We were all crowding around in the middle of the cafeteria for lunch.  
“Yeah, I hear that he dipped his mom out in an attempt to get out of the house,” Anthony said. Everyone got closer, saying “really, really?”   
“You know, guys, I really don’t think that you should gossip about someone you don’t even know,” I said. Everyone turned to me. Suddenly the ham inside my mouth started to become gall. Everyone turned their backs to me as I realized that I should not have said anything.  
Slanky sat alone once more. I made a slight glance towards him before I returned to the rest of the group. Memories of that day continued to etch inside my brain; might as well just leave him on his own. Maybe that was the best that anyone could really do for somebody, just let them be.  
Slanky ate his food in a very mechanical and nonchalant way. His arm moved to his mouth in a robotic manner.   
Slowly the cafeteria started to empty more and more. Before I knew it, the only ones left within the cafeteria was Slanky and me. Nothing but the ticking of the clock could fill in the bare silence surrounding us.  
****  
“Hey, uhhh, Slanky!” I called, walking up to him. I had thought of a lot of different approaches to how I could actually encroach on him. Slanky looked up from his brooding. A bang of hair covered part of his face. His head remained tilted as he looked at me.  
“Here’s the picture that you left in the common room,” I said, handing him the picture of the drummer. He looked at it for a moment, his only response being a simple nod before grabbing it.  
Maybe he also enjoyed music just as I did, I thought to myself. Maybe he really did have just as much of a liking towards it as I did. I looked back at him as he continued walking down the halls.   
***  
The evening stretches truly were a bit of a half-and-half I suppose. My arms reached out to the length of the carpet. Ambient music started to play in the background of the room.  
“And deep breaths. And deep breaths,” Dr. Lathla said as she started to stretch out her limbs.   
The drums started their rhythm once more. The drums continued playing in my head. My hair flew in all directions as my head bobbed to the beat. The soft, ambient music of the group started to fade into obscurity.  
“Lexi! Lexi Louis!” cried Dr. Lathla, but her voice was to avail. I needed to stop—so desperately needed to stop.  
“Lexi!” she cried. She grabbed me. “The rest of you continue on with your exercises while I talk to Lexi out in the hall!”


	5. Chapter 5

My palm slammed against my leg. The stars twinkled outside as if fire works had gone off. I climbed out of bed and started walking to the exit of the room  
Only to be interrupted by voices in the hallway.  
“She might not be developing as well as I had hoped.”  
“I’m honestly not as concerned for her compared to the other one.” I froze in my tracks. For as long as I could remember all these people had treated me as if I was a member of the family. Were they planning on getting rid of me? Were they?  
I climbed out the window, suddenly vexed of what I had heard.  
***  
Remaining behind the same wall that I had done before, I thought vigorously if I should reveal myself and out myself in front of the drummer. My fingers sweated. There was no way that I was going to do something like that. Not in one million years. For the longest time that I could remember, I had stayed behind this wall without a single feeling any worry of being found out.  
But I started to move out. My body began moving towards him. He brushed aside a part of his hair as I began getting close to him, a wide smile starting to show up on his mouth.  
“Why hello there! Did you enjoy the show?” I nodded my head. He still kept on smiling as he gazed on me. A nose ring pierced through one of his nasals. He had sunglasses that concealed both of his eyes.   
“My name is Jack in case you were wondering. Do you live around here?”  
“Inside the mental hospital across the street,” I said, pointing over to the other side of the street. “You can’t quite see it from over here, but it’s there.”  
“Oh, well, you know, I’ve never really been there myself. Well, it was nice meeting you. I’ve gotta go back with the rest of the band. See ya’!”  
But can you teach me what you can do? I wanted to ask. The question was at the tip of my tongue. The question that had been just dying to come out, but already he was preparing to put his stuff away. I moved away, feeling like I was invisible. Something empty about our talk—like he hardly acknowledged me.  
“I love you Kissin’ Barlow!”  
“Go Kissin’ Barlow!” I sat in the darkness with my left hand holding my right arm, feeling a little bit lost of what I had just seen.

But of course he doesn’t recognize me, I thought to myself. After all, we had just met. I looked on as he drove away. I had thought that it would have been more—more than that.


	6. Chapter 6

I opened my eyes. Stirring inside my sleep, I struggled against the urges I had with the night sky.  
“Lexi,” called Rachel. I turned on the other side and began to question what it was that had called me to open up my eyes.   
“I told you that there is no such thing as trying to open up my bed,” Lexi said.  
“I can’t sleep,” Rachel replied. I sighed as I got out of the bed. I climbed ut of the bed. I thought I could hear a little bit of a creaking sound as the doors started to descend upon me.  
There was Slanky, hiding behind the door with a blanket inside of his hand. He shivered as the cold started to creep up against his own skin.   
“You’ve spent enough time being cooped up inside here,” I said. “Come on, let’s go outside.”  
***  
This was probably one of the few times that I actually got theopportunity to spend some time outside of the world I was familiar with. Walking out into the darkness, I could feel the wind rustling against my face. It just felt so good.  
“You see? This is what the outside world feels like,” I told Slanky Slanky loosened a little. He calmed down after some time. His breathing felt like it was starting to become really calm.  
“Look, there’s the band!” I pointed out. Slanky ran in my direction. Coming over the corner, I could see the drummer playing his usual rift. I remained hidden behind the block; however, out of the slightest of the eye, she thought that he made eye-contact with her.  
When the band was done playing, he started talking a bit among the other members. I couldn’t quite reveal the face that I wanted to show. What if he didn’t like me? What if I got myself in trouble?  
I remained for the entirety of the concert. My eyes would not leave the drummer.  
“You see him. You see him?” I asked Slanky, only to realize that Slanky had already left. Turning up around the corner, I could see Slanky screaming at the top of his lungs. He covered his ears with both of his hands, and his body shivered.  
“Slanky, wait! Slanky, I’m sorry!” I said. Suddenly I felt the need to get back to the hospital wing, embarrassed that I actually felt the need to come out here, embarrassed that I had even bothered trying to bring Slanky along.  
Rushing through the night, I saw how Slanky had collapsed on the ground. He groaned as if he had just suffered some kind of heart attack. I kept saying, “It’s ok. It’s ok.” But I knew that Slanky’s asperger’s syndrome was too much for him to handle. I knew that there were so many dimensions to his problem than he would tell me.   
I pulled him through the night. He began to relax a little bit as we went in the middle of the darkened night.  
***  
The nurses had their heads turned to one another, not even keeping a single regard of the children around them. I could not stop looking at Slanky. All sorts of voices filled inside my head.  
“He was taken in by a serial killer…”  
“Some say he doesn’t talk because he never had any parents…”  
“….Hard to tell what’s going on inside his mind…”  
There really wasn’t a whole lot about Slanky’s past that was known. He kept himself on the side. I could almost wonder what kind of effect that I had on him when I pulled him out in the middle of the night. The rhythm in the night continued ringing inside of my mind. I moved the drum sticks with my hands, like I had a form of air sticks inside my hands and I was hitting several drums like the guy on the stage. The sticks traveled across the air with swiftness and power that went around. So many toms and snares were set up in front of me.   
I could have stayed in the moment of drumming for forever. I could have just kept pulling out all the punches, except there was really nothing that I could do in the midst of this room. I could not express myself any further. I looked over at Slanky, who merely sat quietly drawing on the piece of paper.  
One person played on a walkie-talkie, to which the doctor smacked it out of his hand with a “Don’t touch that!” Another had down-syndrome and sat there on the wheel chair as he had another boy run around him.  
“Lunch time everyone!” shouted the doctor as if she was a military general preparing to line us all up for execution. All the kids lined up. “Slanky, Slanky,” called the doctor before she just decided to leave him.  
On the piece of paper I saw the name “Kevin” written on it. On the paper I could see a stage with a drummer on the stage.


	7. Chapter 7

In the blackest of night, I sat right next to Slanky. He continued staring out into the distance of the night. He seemed to be shivering in the darkness.  
“Hey,” I said, not sure what else to say. Slanky stared into the blackest mist with a lot of silence. His composure remained calm. The wind rustled against our shoulders as I waited with him.   
He pulled out the picture. The beat continued to drum in my head. As I began tapping on my knees, I wanted to learn I wanted to take Slanky. For some reason, I just wanted to take Slanky with me. I wanted him to see the concert for himself.  
“My name is not Slanky,” he said. I jumped back, a little bit startled at the sudden question of his voice.  
“I never knew you could talk,” I said. Slanky almost looked like he was about to cry.   
“My name is Stephen. The people here just started to call me Slanky because there were so many rumors of me trying to kill people.”  
“What?” I asked.  
“It’s a complicated story,” he said. I sat very quietly. I laid my hand on top of his palm.  
“Tell me, or you don’t have to.”   
“Why is it any of your business!” he cried.  
“Wait, I’m sorry!” I cried. I knew that Stephen had asperger’s syndrome; however, there were so many outbursts that he had, that I knew.  
“Look, I’m sorry! You don’t have to explain!” I said. Stephen stopped. He breathed a deep sigh.  
“So what do you do out here in the middle of the night?” he asked.   
“I go to the alley,” I said. “Didn’t I pull you along?” He thought for a second.   
“Yeah, I cringed a little didn’t I? But the loud noise. The blaring sounds. What was that all about?”  
“I was in the middle of a band,” I said, “or watching one.” He sat up.  
“You know, if I wasn’t so afraid of loud noises, then I would like to go to the band with you.”  
“Yeah, I saw the picture.” He looked down.  
“I’ve always wanted to get out of this place. Like, I know that it’s home, but…” He covered his hands onto his head like he was trying to remember something. “My mother told me that she promise to take me to see the Niagra Falls.”  
“Wow,” I said. “I don’t think I’ve ever been there before.”  
“Yeah, if it hadn’t been for the serious symptoms of aspergers syndrome I was showing, I probably wouldn’t be here.”  
“Well, sometimes it’s not so bad,” I told him. He turned his face away.   
“Says the person that joins in when the other kids are bullying me.”  
“No, I don’t join in with them,” I said, leaning in a little bit closer. “I really tried to make Sean shut up as soon as I heard him making fun of you.”  
“Yeah, right.”  
“I really did try, Stephen, I really did try.” I didn’t know why I was getting so desperate. “I’m not a mean person.”   
“Well, well…” He bit his lip as he continued stuttering. “Like I understand why my parents needed to put me in here. I understand that I had a lot of problems with socializing and all, but… I want to go home! You know! I want to go back!” I said nothing.  
“It’s all we have,” I said again. “We just have to adjust here the best we can. The nurses seem pretty nice. The people here aren’t too bad. Sometimes they come up with fun activities that helped us connect with others.”  
“But those activities sometimes aren’t very fun. You see! It all kind of depends.” We sat in silence for some time. For a long time, I was lost for words.   
“I’ll be your friend if you really want me to,” I said. “I’m willing to help you get through your struggles if you need to.” even as I said the words, I couldn’t believe how it came out of my mouth. A suspicious gaze seemed to glaze into mine, burning into me with a questioning look.  
“That’s nice,” he said. “But your sympathy is naught.”   
What an ass, I thought to myself; however, I sat with him for the rest of the night.  
***  
“You know, Lexi, I really wasn’t quite looking forward to going out here. I really just try to get myself lost in the cold night.” Several cars zoomed past us, their lights flashing.  
“That’s a Porsche,” he said. “I have a ton of stuff about Porsches. I always found their designs to be really interesting.”  
“Oh, that’s nice,” I said. Personally I would have liked it if we had decided to go back to the hospital, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.  
“You probably don’t even care,” he said. “Fine, I get it.”  
“We should probably be getting back inside for sleep,” I said, trying to change the subject.  
I watched him leave. On the side of the well that he sat on was a picture of his family. The glass was shattered at the surface of the picture.  
“Gosh, I’m sorry,” I said to myself. “I know it probably must not be very exciting being in the middle of a place that you don’t know about.”   
I walked back to the hospital. Boy, I was really sleepy. Going back into my room, I lay in my bed, preparing to fall asleep. I thought about how Stephen had not really spoken much until now. Maybe all this time I had misunderstood him.   
I fell asleep before I knew it.


	8. Chapter 8

It felt kind of weird when the nurses all decided to leave us alone in a room for us to play in the room where we had free time. Sean rose to the top.  
“DODGE BALL!” he shouted as a suggestion.   
“YEAH!” everyone shouted in unison. Stephen seemed ready.   
Balls launched in all directions of the field. Stephen ran around and threw balls. No more standing around and looking like a fool.   
A passion lit up inside that boy. He grabbed another boy and wrangled him to the ground. “ACK!” he cried before he was sent toppling to the ground. The boy’s cries for help failed to reach his ears in time. His face began to turn blue.  
“Call one of the nurses! Call the nurses!” cried a girl in skinny jeans, but Sean lifted his hand in the air. He looked at the two fighters, measuring each of their strengths. Stephen squeezed harder on the boy’s neck. If nobody did anything, he might kill him!  
“That’s enough!” I shouted, pushing Stephen to the side. Stephen still wouldn’t let go. It wasn’t until the rest of the students came and pulled him off did he stop.   
“What the fuck were you doing?!”  
“Were you trying to kill him or some kind of dip-shit?!”  
“What’s your problem man? What’s your problem?”  
Sean seemed to give Stephen one final look before turning away. From the whispers inside the other peoples’ ears, he seemed to say “What a loser. Nobody wants to hang out with him…”  
He ran out the door. No time to contemplate what he had just done. He ran and ran and ran. He stopped, out of breath, in front of the blank wall, for he heard footsteps coming at him.  
“Wait, nobody ever came to me?” he asked himself. It was only me, Lexi Louis. Is everything alright? I wanted to ask him, but I knew better.   
“Get away from me! Stop feeling so much sympathy for me!” he cried. “I don’t need you! What do you want with me!” It all came out of him all at once. “Fuck off!” he shouted. I walked backward a few steps before he ran even further down the halls


	9. Chapter 9

“Keep nailing it in,” said Nurse Shannon as Rachel and I worked on the board in front of her. Once in awhile she would come and assist us if we ever needed any help.  
“Do you think Slanky is ok?” Rachel asked me. I shrugged my shoulders.  
“You were friends with Slanky weren’t you?”  
“No, I wasn’t,” I replied. I thought of all the times he had taken advantage of me. Thinking about them made me hammer harder.  
“If Lexi doesn’t feel like saying anying, by all means she has every right to remain silent, especially about this inappropriate subject!” shouted Nurse Shannon. “Now, if only you would hurry up with your work, or we’ll literally never be able to fix this table!”  
“Maybe you and I should go out there and find him,” Rachel whispered. “The cops are probably on the look-out; imagine what he would feel like if he was found and brought back.” Rachel’s words shook my heart. Maybe everybody knew that Slanky had always wanted to run away.  
I stopped sawing for a second.   
“It really is quite a nice day,” said Nurse Shannon “Maybe after we are done with this, we can go back and bring everyone out to play.”   
***  
I thought about how Stephen needed help. I thought about how he needed help. He had wanted to come home, and for a moment, I hoped that they would not be able to find him, but as I listened more to the voices of the nurses, afraid for him.  
“Please don’t let them catch him. Please don’t let them catch him,” I seemed to be saying—even though I wasn’t sure if there was a god. A fear began to contruct within me—a fear that made me afraid that they would catch him.   
Placing my hand on the windown, I waited, wondering what will happen.  
***  
“Junk, junk, and more junk,” said Nurse Shannon as she sorted through Stephen’s room. My eyes watched as she overlooked the family photo that was cracked. “A pity,” she said as she inspected the photo “I guess he really did have some kind of family after all. Too bad that they won’t be around to pick him up from here.” She looked at me. “They would probably get their act together in a faster way if they weren’t all misbehaving.” I said nothing. While I knew that it was a woman’s duty to speak out, I didn’t really have too much to say as far as this went.  
“Well, I don’t know how far he went. As far as I’m concerned he’s as good as dead lying out there in the middle of the outside field,” Nurse Shannon said as she put the photo back on top of the shelf. “You don’t have to stand there. It’s not like you’re a servant of some sort.”  
“Oh,” I said, dodging out of her way as she made her way out of the room. I grabbed the photo and looked at it for some time. The mother’s eyes looked saddened and grieved at the sight of their new-born baby. Maybe a hint of regret also tainted them. I could see the father, who seemed like he was doing his best to act like everything was alright as he sat next to his baby child.   
Oh, the agony! Things did not have to be like this, and I didn’t even know what this was going to do.  
If only he had stayed for another several moments, then he would have gained some kind of reconnection with his family. If only he had been patient for just a moment longer, then maybe he would have been able to see his parents again. He would have been able to go to the Niagra Falls like he had always wanted to.  
***  
I side-stepped a little bit as a car whooshed past me.  
I had made up my mind. I was going to look for Stephen—wherever he was in the midst of the world. Several trees standing in the open reminded me of all the stories I had read in the books. It made me feel like I was traveling inside of the haunted forests. Why was I doing this again, really?  
***  
I saw a distant shadow at first, coming into view with the slightest amount of light. Stephen ran into me, all out of breath.  
“It was just too much. All of it was too much.” He looked at me, his eyes bulging forth. “Running away. All of it. Don’t do it. I want to go back.” His grip tightened around my arms. H refused to let go, constantly keeping his hands wrapped around mine.  
“If you go back, they will probably severely punish you.” He looked up at me.  
“But I have nowhere else to go. Take me back and maybe we don’t ever have to come out here.”  
“The police will probably hunt us down anyway,” I said. “But sure, if you really do need someone, I’m more than willing to accompany you back.”  
***  
The two of us walked side-by-side in the middle of the night. Neither of us said anything. Both of us were very quiet in the solitude that we gave.  
“You know, running away wasn’t as fun as thought it was going to be,” Stephen said. “I am going to get in so much trouble for this.”  
“Guess you don’t have any other choice but to brace yourself,” I replied, too tired to come up with a good pep response.  
We walked for a couple more hours. Neither of us really wanted to think about the great dangers that lay ahead of us.  
“Nurse Shannon is probably going to beat the crap out of us.”  
“Shut up! We probably won’t be able to get anywhere if you keep up on this kind of stuff!” I said.  
“Sorry, I just don’t want this kind of crap to be on my mind,” he retorted. “It really is a very worrying thing, you know? It’s like we have no choice but to go through the nature of this—“  
A rhythm interrupted his thoughts. I sped past him, running through the alleyway with a lot of trouble inside of me.  
“Hey wait!” he cried, but his cries reached me to no avail. I reached the side of the stadium to realize I was standing in the middle of the concert. The crowd was cheering with glee. A drummer walked up to the fore-front of the stage. A yellow teeth struck out in the middle of his mouth. A smile of greatness seemed all-consuming inside of his mouth   
“Are you all ready to rock!” cried the singer The crowd cheered. We rocked off into a jam, running through all the guitar riffs and such. It was the drummer that caught my attention the most of all. His beating across the drum struck my ear as a powerful shockwave. I waved my hands in the air. I screamed with the rest of the fan girls. I—  
BANG! I looked all around. Where had the shot come from? People screamed in all directions. I looked outward to see that the singer fell to the ground. I couldn’t understand why he was covered in a trickle of blood.  
“Hey!” I cried, but people had already almost trampled on top of me. The soles of people’s feet stamped on me. What is this trap?  
“Lexi!” I could hear in the distance. Losing consciousness. Feeling weightless. Then all of a sudden I could feel a hand pulling me out.  
“What?”  
“Lexi,” I turned to see that it was Stephen. His face looked grave. “Lexi, we need to get out of here. It isn’t safe for any of us to stay here.”


	10. Chapter 10

You’re joking, right?”  
“No, I’m not joking.” Stephen kept talking to me like he knew this was going to happen.   
“You knew that the shooting was going to happen?”  
“No, I didn’t know that, but can’t you see what I am trying to say? We can’t stay here. It is too dangerous. It is too dangerous to be out here.”  
I looked out at the darkened streets and thought about how bright they looked with the sirens wailing. “The hospital is our home. We have no connections, nothing.” He swung his head up and slapped it.  
“Oh come on, if we go back, we’ll probably get punished. Who knows what the doctors will probably do to us.” You’re probably right, I thought.  
I hated everything that had just happened. I hated the fact that I had lost the band. The shooting continued to etch its way into my skull. I wasn’t sure if he even was alive, but wherever he was, I could not entertain the fact that he could possibly be dead. I just could not.  
Fear ran through my veins. He had been everything that I had put my own crutch on, and now I am here to see that he no longer exists? Am I just to assume that he no longer carries any of the weight that he had before?   
“Can we keep walking?” asked Stephen. He seemed like somebody else. Not the same autistic boy that everyone else had once known him as. Weird how the name “Slanky” had een become really associated with him.   
“I don’t think I can make it any farther,” Stephen said. I watched as his body collapsed to the ground. His hands grasped his stomach. Hunger. Stephen really was hungry. I looked through my purse. No food.  
I sighed as I stared off into the rest of the path. It was rudded with stones and rocks. “I’m not going to fucking carry you,” I told him and prepared to walk down myself, but I placed my shoulder over his and carried him with whatever strength I had left.  
“To be honest, I’m kind of hungry too,” I said. Hunger. It was the only subject that either of us could talk about.   
“You’ve gotta start thinking positive,” Stephen said before he wandered off to sleep. I carried his limp body over the street. A couple cars rolled by. No sign of any police or patrol cars. I never knew that this area of the street could be so quiet.  
Maybe it was wrong to leave.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexi and Stephen struggle to find their way out of the mental health hospital in order to make the new life that they've always wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it gets kind of hard posting.

“You’re joking, right?”  
“No, I’m not joking.” Stephen kept talking to me like he knew this was going to happen.   
“You knew that the shooting was going to happen?”  
“No, I didn’t know that, but can’t you see what I am trying to say? We can’t stay here. It is too dangerous. It is too dangerous to be out here.”  
I looked out at the darkened streets and thought about how bright they looked with the sirens wailing. “The hospital is our home. We have no connections, nothing.” He swung his head up and slapped it.  
“Oh come on, if we go back, we’ll probably get punished. Who knows what the doctors will probably do to us.” You’re probably right, I thought.  
I hated everything that had just happened. I hated the fact that I had lost the band. The shooting continued to etch its way into my skull. I wasn’t sure if he even was alive, but wherever he was, I could not entertain the fact that he could possibly be dead. I just could not.  
Fear ran through my veins. He had been everything that I had put my own crutch on, and now I am here to see that he no longer exists? Am I just to assume that he no longer carries any of the weight that he had before?   
“Can we keep walking?” asked Stephen. He seemed like somebody else. Not the same autistic boy that everyone else had once known him as. Weird how the name “Slanky” had een become really associated with him.   
“I don’t think I can make it any farther,” Stephen said. I watched as his body collapsed to the ground. His hands grasped his stomach. Hunger. Stephen really was hungry. I looked through my purse. No food.  
I sighed as I stared off into the rest of the path. It was rudded with stones and rocks. “I’m not going to fucking carry you,” I told him and prepared to walk down myself, but I placed my shoulder over his and carried him with whatever strength I had left.  
“To be honest, I’m kind of hungry too,” I said. Hunger. It was the only subject that either of us could talk about.   
“You’ve gotta start thinking positive,” Stephen said before he wandered off to sleep. I carried his limp body over the street. A couple cars rolled by. No sign of any police or patrol cars. I never knew that this area of the street could be so quiet.  
Maybe it was wrong to leave.  
***  
I reached for the women’s purse while I tried to pull out money. Please find a twenty. Please find a twenty.  
Remember that stealing is wrong. You should never steal. The voice echoed inside my ears; however, it wasn’t the doctors that were telling me to not do it. It was another voice, perhaps one that I had heard long ago.  
With a stick, I pulled out a twenty dollar bill. Phew! I got lucky. I don’t have a choice, I tried telling the voice inside my head.  
A couple hours later I was standing in the middle of line at Tesco with a bag of Lay chips at my side. Went through all this—and not a single person had caught me.  
The cashier looked at me. “Does there seem to be a problem, ma’m?” he asked. I realized that I had been standing there this whole time.  
“Yes,” I said, handing the twenty as well as the bag of chips.   
“Here you go, and your change?” he said, holding out his hand. I grabbed the money from his hand and placed it inside my own pocket. I opened the bag of chips and ate from it. I too was hungry. I stuffed several chips into my mouth. Why did I have to be the one that fed Stephen? If I wanted this, then I got it.  
I’ll be your friend if you want me to. I lowered the bag of chips.   
“Here,” I said. Surprised, he rushed forward and gobbled down the rest of the bag like the cookie monster on Sesame street.   
“Thanks,” he said. Then he lowered the bag from his mouth, realizing the scarfing he was doing. “Sorry.”  
“No, it’s fine,” I said. He opened the chip bag for me. I ate the last quarter of what was left of the chips.  
“I’m really sorry. I feel like—“  
“No, it’s fine,” I said again, for I saw no reason to get upset at him.


	12. Chapter 12

“So why do so many people think you’re a murderer?” I asked.  
“It’s because I don’t really like to disclose too much about myself,” he replied without a single degree of hesitation. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it, but you know that I’m not like that?”  
“Yes,” I replied, “but why do you let them do that to you?” He paused for some time.  
“It’s just that I feel so trapped.”  
***  
“So where to now?” I asked. I turned around to realize that he had fallen asleep. I lay down on the grass next to him. I had no idea what time it was. I just lay my head on the ground, but wait, this was no place to sleep.   
I could not sleep. We could not get caught. What if they caught us? Then what? We could always go back, I thought, but I could not turn back. My eyes remained wide open. I couldn’t sleep.  
***  
Maybe I could just pick myself up and just leave him, I thought. But I knew that I couldn’t go back. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. I fell asleep, exhausted by what everything was going on.  
“Lexi,” I heard a murmur say. I turned around. “Thanks.”   
“No problem,” I replied, but how far were we really going to make it. He looked up from his sleep. “You know, I honestly have a lot of trouble myself trying to go to sleep,” he said.   
“Do you ever wonder if there is some kind of special meaning behind the stars?”   
“No, not really.”  
“Well, my mother always said that the stars could predict the future.”  
“Your mother believed in some pretty crazy stuff,” I said.  
“Maybe she did,” he said, lowering his head. “I like to believe that my mother was wise—that she always knew where everything was. If only I could just remember what it was like…”  
“Don’t kill yourself over that,” I said. “I can’t remember much about my parents.”  
“Yeah, that’s what I notice about a lot of the other patients. Taken away from their parents. Pretty brutal.”   
“More the reason to leave,” I said. His eyes widened.  
“Wait, you believe in what I’m doing?!” But I was already starting to fall asleep.  
***  
“Do you think the people inside the hospital know that we’re gone.”  
“They probably do.”  
“Do you think they give much of a shit?” I paused considering I really didn’t know the answer.  
“Who knows? Maybe we were nothing more than outcasts to all of them,” I said.  
“Nah, they’re probably looking for us right now,” he said. “I bet most of the nurses are probably going to lose their jobs if they figure out we’re even missing.” I sighed. I didn’t feel like talking much. I was probably going to die out here, and so was he.  
“Were you able to write to your parents?” he asked. “I think I tried writing to mine before I left.”  
“I thought I told you—I don’t remember anything about my parents,” I said. “Would you please shut up!”  
Silence.  
“Ok, I’m sorry, sorry,” I said. It took me a moment to realize that he was crying. Usually a lot of people never saw Stephen cry. For that matter, I had never really considered that he had any emotion. Now here he was, acting like a little brother.  
“There, there,” I said as I pat him on the head. He embraced me.   
“You’re probably the only person with an amount of decency at that wretched place!” he said.  
“I highly doubt that,” I said. “There are people like Rachel who are not so bad.”  
“Rachel?”  
“She’s my friend, but you know what, never mind. We could sit here all day long, but I think it is about high time that we start our way forward. After all, neither of us want to go back there.”  
“So you admit that you hate that place?”  
“Yeah,” I said. Slowly he got up, and the two of us started making our way through the rest of the path.  
***  
“There sure are a lot of trees out here that can conceal our path. The police probably won’t be able to find us if we were all the way out here.”  
“Stop talking about people trying to find us! Maybe if we stop thinking about it, then nothing will happ—“  
“GET DOWN!!!” screamed Stephen as he tackled me into a bush.  
“What are you--?” But before I could finish the sentence, several search lights appeared on the ground, barely visible to the light of the sun. The beating of the helicopters wings struck the air, putting off some of the leaves from the trees. There were some voices I could hear from the outskirts.  
“I think they might have gone this way,” I could hear an officer say in the distance. I looked up to see a soldier clad in a white uniform. He stalked across the premise of the clearing.  
“What do we do?!’ I whispered. I was freaking out.  
“Uhhhh…Lexi?” said Stephen.  
“Do you have any ideas, you moron,” I whispered.   
“Moron? How am I the moron! Just look to your left and you’ll see what I’m talking about!” The buzzing sound was too high. Before either of us knew it, a hornet flew in my face.  
“Ah, get it off!” I whispered, causing my body to shake.  
“I think I detected movement!” said one of the officers.  
Then the swarm came.  
“AHHHHH! GET US OUT OF HERE!!!!!” cried all the officers. At one point, all of them were walking soldiers stalking the entire premise. Now they were raving lunatics running in all directions.  
“Come on, Lexi!” cried Stephen. Together with our hands locked as one, we dashed through the forest and the trees that were heading towards us. Our feet never stopped. All we cared was getting out of there.  
“How—are—you (pant)?” Stephen sat on the ground staring at the sun blazing in his face. “Think—we—lost (pant, pant, pant) them?” We both fainted. One on my leg and another on his arm, there was a bleeding welt the size of a pimple.  
***  
There was no way we lost the hornets. I’m not really sure how I flickered back and forth between being conscious and not.   
When I woke up, I was lying on somebody’s bed. In the backdrop a clock was ticking. The first thing I realized: I was alone.  
“Stephen,” I said to myself. Where was he anyway? Well, as far as I was concerned, I could care less. In the middle of a thought-provoking conversation, he tackled me, then felt the need to pull me out of the way and into the bushes. What a great form of protecting a woman!   
“Hey, my body is clean. It doesn’t have any leaves or anything like that,” I said, turning my hands around.  
“Are you quite awake?” I heard a voice come down the hallway. My door was creaked open. My hearts started to pound. I was caught, wasn’t I? I was literally caught and they decided to take me into custody. Oh great! I’m screwed. This hospitable house—it’s probably nothing more than a mere ruse in order to attempt to brainwash me into thinking that I am inside of their clutches.  
“Now, hold up there!” the man said, like he was reading my mind. “I just want to make sure that you are all safe and sound.” I smelled a bowl of simmering soup coming in from the room.  
“Do you know where my friend Stephen is?” I asked.  
“Stephen?Haven’t heardof a Stephen,” the man said. He put turnips in the soup. The taste caused my entire mouth to light up. I gorged down the soup with a lot of eagerness. It tasted so yummy to my stomach, for I was starving.  
“Thank you for the food, kind sir,” I said as I handed the plate back to him. He winked at me.   
“Now, your old friend is probably somewhere in the other room.”  
“Oh GREAT!” I exclaimed as I started to race out of my bed and go to the other room. I was just glad that I was not alone in some old man’s house.  
“Wake up! Wake up!” I said to Stephen. He was sleeping so soundly in the middle of the bed. It was almost as if he didn’t seem to mind what was going on around him. He felt safe, not afraid at all of what could possibly approach him. I backed away from his room and closed the door. How I could trust this kind of guy I really did not know.  
***  
“Good morning! Well, I’ve got some breakfast on the table, and I’ve also designed quite a bit of different happy plates for you to enjoy!” I took my seat at the center of the table. The plate was decorated with taffy-paper cut into several strips surrounding the circumference of the plate.  
At the center of the plate was a pancake. “Go on. Eat it,” he said. I stabbed my fork into the pancake. The syrup oozed off the surface of the pancake.  
I took a bite out of it. I took more bites and more and more—to the point I was scarfing the entire pancake into my mouth.  
“That’s great that someone loves my cooking!” the porkly man said. His smile gave me some serious Heebie-jeebies, for it sent tendrils through my stomach like a knife had just been pierced through. I took another bite of my pancake. The desires were just so irrestistable.  
“Great, tastes good, eh?” he said. Together we sat as one, reclining at the table. “You like computer games?” he asked. “Well, it looks like you might want to take a break from all this crap I throw at you.” He stretched himself out. “Do you want to watch some videos?”  
“Sure,” I said. It had been so long since I had last relaxed before.  
“HELLO, I AM JUST A PANCKAKE!” the video said.  
***  
“RAIKU! WHAT THE FLIPPITY FLIP ARE YOU DOING!” cried the character Sora. I was sitting in the middle of the computer, dazed—very relaxed. I had never felt like this before. All this time taking all the classes with the psychologists and how boring everything was.   
“DON”T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE TO JUST A PANCAKE!” the voice at the end said.   
“Don’t.” The voice inside my head rang with a warning. I lowered my hand away from the mouse, my eyes figuring out how I had gotten here.  
“All done watching the tube I see!” the man said. He grabbed my sides like he was going to carry me. I slapped his hands away.  
“Now come here you! Come here!” he said. I struggled. I knocked the chair over and prepared to fight. “So that wasn’t enough to knock you over? Well, I’m going to have to do it the hard way then!” He picked me up and threw me into a room. Easy as that.  
**  
I opened my eyes to see Stephen lying in his bed.  
“Stephen, wake up!” I cried, but Stephen continued sleeping within his comatose state.  
“Come on, Stephen,” I said. I grabbed him and started pulling him out of the covers of his bed. I pulled him over my shoulder and tried messing with the door handle.  
Locked.   
“Let me out! Let me out!” I cried as I also tried to carry the weight of Stephen’s body.  
“Trying to get out I see! Good luck with that!” I turned to see my attacker. A knife was in his hand, ready to block me from ever getting out.  
“You’re with them, aren’t you?”  
“Not sure who you’re talking about lady, but I won’t mind fresh mortal blood for me.”  
“Ok! Stop!” I said, holding up my hands. Stephen’s limp body sagged as I dropped to the ground. “What is it that you want?”  
“I just need a proper human sacrifice,” he said. “That was all. I figure that your friend over there was the perfect candidate for something like that. I guess now you surrender. I s’ppose this is going to be a lot easier than I thought.”


	13. Chapter 13

Leading us outside, he showed where the cave was. Sand started muffling out of the ceiling.  
“Just trust me, ok?” he said as he pushed me inside with his gun. Of course. I shoved him into the cave before running off myself.  
“What the—“ he cried at the top of his lungs, but the cave was too much for him. Sand started to pile up on top of him. I carried Stephen’s limp body as I made my way out of the clearing.  
“Wait! I fed you! I—“  
“What else did you do?” I asked. The voice was silent as I carried Stephen’s limp body across the rest of the ground.   
“You owe me one,” I grunted to the unconscious Stephen, but for once, I felt like I was actually getting along with him.  
***  
“Wake up,” I said as I sat near a creak and splashed water in his face. He shook his face with disbelief as his senses started to return to him.  
“What?”  
“We got hijacked somewhere along the road,” I said. “Now come on, I don’t think we have a lot of time left.”  
“No, we’ve got plenty,” he said. “Those hornets sure as hell probably fucked those guys over.” He sat on a tree and closed his eyes.  
“Listen, Stephen, this is not funny. Who knows what will happen if we get sent back there.” I looked into the sky. “It could be worse than I know.”  
“Yeah, well, I also kind of want to just rest up. I’m tired after all that.”  
“But you just took a long nap?” He didn’t seem to hear me as he fell asleep. I couldn’t help but feel like I too wanted to wander off into a deep sleep. “Ok,” I said, yawning. “I’m kind of tired myself. If I were to fight my way through all this crap, then I guess it might not be so bad.” So both of us fell asleep underneath the Sycamore Tree.  
***  
“Wait, where am I?” I asked myself as I got up from the ground and started surveying my surroundings. In front of me, I could see a horde of dancing elephants. Their legs swished back and forth that it was mesmerizing just watching them swish their legs back and forth.   
They were coming at me. Towards me.  
I jumped out of the way, but the elephants danced into the lava underneath me. Their arms slowed as they singed in the stinging lava. Their trunks let out an ear-piercing scream as they burned up within the lava below. I gulped. The hot air made me faint. I started to feel dazed and drowsy. Someone wake me, I thought.  
Lexi, Lexi…  
“Lexi!” I jumped at my name. It was still night out. Stephen was hugging his legs with his arms like he was really scared about the forest.  
“Lexi, you might not believe me for saying this (since I did this to myself), but I want to go home.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Back at the hospital. Maybe I felt miserable there, but at least it was something.”  
“Yeah, the doctors are probably really worried.”   
“To be honest, I’m starting to feel like I don’t really want to go out and run anymore. It just all feels really stressful!” He buried his face in his legs. “God, how did I ever come this far?”   
“No worries,” I said. It was all that I could figure out to say. A shooting star dazzled across the sky.  
“A shooting star! Make a wish!” I cried.  
“What, that stuff is childish?” Stephen said. “Even I don’t believe in that crap!”  
“But maybe it will make you feel better,” I said.  
“Ok, I wish we were back at home.” He opened and closed his eyes like he was expecting it to happen in this minute.  
“What’s the point if it is never going to happen?”  
“Who knows? Maybe it will,” I said. “Maybe we will find a safe place.”   
“You’re not truly certain about that,” Stephen said. “Don’t lie to me. Be honest.”  
“Ok, you are probably the dumbest guy I have ever met to run off like that.”  
“So then why did you bother running after me?” he asked. I shrugged my shoulders.  
“You know, I’m not sure if I can quite pinpoint that,” I replied, totally unsure.   
***  
Stirring several times, I just couldn’t sleep. I looked into the satchel of Stephen’s pocket. There I pulled out a picture.  
A small degree of shouting could be heard in the distance. I perked my ear.  
“Stephen,” I said, shaking him. “Stephen, I think we need to—“ But I couldn’t finish my sentence. The shouting kept coming closer and closer. It was then that I wondered where we had ended up.  
A hand grabbed my shoulder and forced onto another’s.  
“What?” Stephen said as he got knocked across the head with a club. His body crumpled onto the ground, barely conscious. The tip of the staff planted on the boy’s jaw, the main bad guy looked at me with a menacing glare as if he was trying to understand why two children had for whatever reason stumbled upon his turf.  
***  
“Show me,” the main chief said as he handed me a little drum with a pair of sticks. I thought of the drummer in the band. I started playing a rhythm.  
The numerous villagers looked on with a lot of interest inside of their faces.  
“Chee cha chee,” the villager said as if he was trying to mimic me. For once, all seemed well. For once I thought that everything was at peace.  
Until I learned my enemies were still around.  
***  
Bombs flew down from the sky. I knew that this wasn’t going to be a pretty sight.  
“AUGH!” cried the chief as he started running towards the front of the village. Stephen and I escaped with the last of our lives.   
***  
“Sometimes…I wonder if we did all of this for nothing,” I said as I kicked some sand underneath my feet. Stephen looked at me with those eyes—those eyes that told me that he too was confused. Immediately I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing for another whine from his mouth.  
“I don’t understand where we are going,” he said. Neither were any of us really making any sense. He slumped to the ground, all of his residue energy having been sapped away. Dragging him over to a creak, I placed a cup of water into my hands and slipped it into his mouth.  
“Unh (cough) what…?”  
“I’m going to go do something really fast,” I said as I left him at the foot of one of the rocks and started to run towards the street.  
I heard no shout as I made my way towards the street.  
**  
“Ok, Lexi, you’ve got this,” I said to myself. In front of me was a woman sitting in the middle of the street. Curled up near the body was a cup and several dollar bills.  
Come on, come on, I thought to myself as the stick that I had made for myself started nearing towards the money jar. I had curved it into a hook. The extension got closer and closer and closer.  
Finally I sat back, breathing a deep sigh. I sat back in a hunched position, rocking back and forth while I held the stick vertically.   
I crept forward and pulled out the stick closer out and pulled out a five dollar bill. It wasn’t much, but at least it was something.   
I kept looking at the man, worried that he was going to wake up. I placed the five dollar bill inside my pocket. Just as I was about to turn around, I looked inside the cup.  
He had nothing inside the cup.  
Backing away, I ran to the nearby store, afraid with my own actions like a shadow disappearing into the darkness.   
***  
“What did you bring?” asked Stephen. I took out a philly Cheese Steak from my bag.  
“Oh boy!” He dashed towards the food like a spoiled bratt as he ate the sandwich.  
“Stephen, we’ve gotta work together. I don’t have time to put up with hunger just as much as you do,” I said. He looked up at me as if he was slightly embarrassed by his reaction.  
“Sorry. I’m so sorry,” he said as he handed the sandwich to me. I ate the first half, while he ate the other, a part of me a little upset over his outburst.   
“Mmm, the cheese is so good,” I said as I absorbed some of the cheese into my mouth. Stephen said nothing as he continued eating from what he had left of the sandwich inside his hand.   
“What’s the matter, Slanky? The cheese sticking to the roof of your mouth?” I asked.  
“I understand you are pissed at me,” he said, lowering the sandwich down and beginning to sulk into depression. I sighed as I looked at him. We just keep sighing, almost as if there really is no end to anything that is going around us.  
“Sometimes I wonder if we are going to be stuck here forever,” I said. Stephen sat next to me.   
“Maybe we can start heading over to our parents,” he said. “You know, you don’t know anything about our parents. You know, we really don’t know anything that is going on with our parents. We really don’t know.”  
“Are your parents nearby?” I asked. “I have no memories of mine.”  
“For some reason, I feel like you have no idea what mine were like.”  
“Listen! I don’t care about any of this, ok! I don’t care about my parents! I don’t care about yours! You know at first I wanted to just find freedom. I wanted to get out of the prison that had been holding me hostage for such a long time, and now here I am, stuck with you. ‘ I shook my hands in the air as I looked at him. “Why am I stuck with you? You who sap all the energy from my soul. You just absorb everything that I love. You take everything from you. And I am just sick of you. I am just sick of you!”  
“Fine! Go do whatever you want!” he cried. I took a few steps forward. I didn’t need him. I didn’t want him to be anywhere near me. I journeyed a little bit onward, walking over hedges and other forms of rocks on the ground. We became farther and farther away from one another


	14. Chapter 14

“God, oh please forgive me for I don’t know what I sin,” I sang to myself. It was the only song I could think about in the midst of this. I don’t remember anything about my parents, I had told Stephen.  
Actually I did.  
Of course, Stephen would probably catch up to me. He’s probably realizing just how lonely he really is without me.  
Shadows started appearing on the ground. What was I thinking? I knelt to the ground and started panicking. For some reason, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t cry.  
Oh, who’s its, what’s its. I reflected how I had tried to run away in the beginning. How I had actually thought that maybe I could receive some form of closure in all this. Had I been right? Did I do the right thing?  
Suddenly the bushes started to rustle. I got into a fighting stance, ready to face whatever it was that came at me.  
“Who are you?” I cried as I immediately went into a karate stance (not that I really knew anything about karate. Just that I thought that it was something that everyone ought to be able to do to defend themselves).  
The puckered man gave me a look that almost led me to believe he was drunk or something like that. His eyes dimmed and his head bobbed.  
“Hey now, no need to get angry or any of that shit…woah!” he said as he swung his arms in a direction of anguish. I backed away, clearly confused with what was going on around me. “Name’s Josh Drake,” the man said almost as if he was reading my mind.  
“Josh Drake? As in the guy from TV?” I asked. I still kept myself very steady and still as I approached this guy. I could smell the gall stench of his breath.  
“No, no, not that Josh,” the man said as he laughed. He sounded like a howling man on drugs. “Now come with me little lady. I have food and shelter that you can hork up if you need to.”  
“Well, I’m good,” I said. “Now don’t you ever take another step towards me.” Our eyes simmered with the heat of an expressionless wolf, ready to defend her cubs from the coming attack that was about to happen. I was in my ready position. Any minute and—  
“Joshua Drake!” I heard a female voice come from beyond the patio. “Get back home right this instant!”  
“Uh oh!” Josh cried. Suddenly he really looked like he was weak.   
“Josh! Where are you!” He hurried out of the clearing, fear written all over his face. Should I follow him? I wondered. I could only think of the last time I followed someone.  
I was about to turn around. Maybe just not have to run into this type of family situation when I saw a woman around her fifties come out of the clearing. She had a head dress on that tied her hair in a bun. A large skirt ran down her body.  
“Well, what is a little girl like you doing running around about?” she asked.  
***  
I’m sorry. As stupid as all this may sound, I just couldn’t resist.  
I had been traveling out here for such a long time at this point. Maybe it was about time that I just settled down and not care who was trustworthy or not. I needed a home. I needed somewhere where I could lay my own head.  
“Come darling, don’t worry so much about Joshua over there. He usually tends to be quite like that whenever he is around other people.” I didn’t answer her. This felt so suspicious that I literally wanted to just walk out of the room just like that.  
In the distance of the forest I could see a single helicopter light illuminating in the middle of the night. I gulped. They were watching me here.   
And this time, there were not going to let me out so easily.  
***  
The mother looked at me with this queer design that made me almost jump out of my chair. A sense of fear started to rumble deep within my inner most being. I wanted to run outside and find Stephen, but who knew where Stephen really was. Dead? I could only imagine the corpse of Stephen on the ground, suffocating from all the injuries and hunger that he had taken as he was struggling to gain a footing within the society he was placed inside.  
“Chicken soup?” the mother asked. And here I was, sitting with another mother. Here she was, trying to act like some kind of maternal figure towards me. I slapped the bowl out of the way.  
“Now that is not a very lady-like thing to do,” she said, a hint of anger within her voice. I will try to do that again, this time without any mercy, I thought. “Get on with your soup!” she said in an angry tone of voice.  
Or did I just imagine it. The women’s form started to change into one that looked a little bit like one that was familiar. It was someone that I had seen before. My own mother.  
“You are forgetting something,” the mother said. She placed her hand to my heart, which caused me to begin to back away from her.  
“You have forgotten all about her.”  
“No, that’s not true,” I said, but it was true. All that I had told Stephen. It wasn’t true. I really didn’t know who my parents were. I really had forgotten them.  
“They abandoned me to all those doctors!” I yelled at her. She looked at me, it looked like her own eyes glowed.  
“Get out!” I shouted to her as I tugged at the door, but the door was locked shut. Clamped to its own hinges. I panicked as I looked all around me. The breath started to suck out of me as the woman got closer and closer.  
“You forgot about us! You forgot about me! I loved you! That’s why I took you all the way to the doctor’s office!” She was reeling me against the door. I cowered low, afraid of what was about to happen to me. This time there was no Stephen. This time it was an issue that I had to face on my own.  
“It was you…”  
“What?”  
“You forgot about me. You were the one that dumped me in the middle of the psychologist’s office with nothing. You were never going to come back.” I wanted to stand up like the strong independent woman that I was. I wanted to show my mother for once that I wasn’t some kind of suck up like she had always thought of me as.  
But there I was kneeling on the ground, crying. I had admitted that I really didn’t have what it took. My mother didn’t say anything. I could feel something brush beside my shoulder. I hoped that it was her hand, assuring me comforting me—for isn’t that what all mother’s ought to do?   
But instead I looked up to see the corpse of my mother pass over me. I saw as my mother’s bod started to turn into dust. Even the house began to return to the earth. I cradled myself. What had just happened? I placed my right hand on my cheek, panting really hard from the amount of stress that had just been placed over me. I got up to my feet and took a deep breath.  
***  
“Stephen!” I called out in the middle of the night. Nothing. I sighed as I kicked a pebble on the ground. Stephen, I thought to myself.  
Then I saw a shadow coming closer to me.   
“Hey,” he said very weakly.  
“Stephen!” I shouted. “Man, am I glad to see you.”   
“Yeah, look, I kind of followed you because…”  
“Because what?”  
“I couldn’t do it alone,” he said. “I think we’re looking for someone that is close to us, but we can’t seem to be able to find it.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“My father’s office. I feelt like I saw it nearby.”  
“Really? I would be kind of questioning how you really saw that,” I replied. There was too much going on to really come to any conclusions.   
“I’m sick of just wandering out here in the middle of nowhere!” he shouted out to the heavens. For a moment, I felt very frightened of him. I saw no other choice.  
“Alright, I’m going with you,” I said.  
***  
“You know, Stephen, this has been a bit of a weird trip if you ask me.”  
“Why do you say that?” Stephen asked.  
“I mean, after coming so far it’s like the police and all those authorities seemed to have stopped tracking us. Don’t you think that is kind of weird?”  
“Well, no bother. I guess we just have to keep on moving if we are ever going to figure out a safe place,” he replied.  
“Yeah.”  
***  
The two of us walked for some time in the middle of the forest, neither one of us saying anything to the other. As we walked, we felt the load on top of our bags become lighter—as if there was a lighter load to carry.  
“Let’s take a break for the rest of the night,” I said. Stephen and I sat in the middle of the night, staring up at the sky.  
“I wonder if my parents would be able to recognize me if I saw them again,” Stephen said. I shut my eyes as he talked. I was seriously sick of this guy and his babbling.   
“I’m sure they will,” I said. I’m not sure what to call the emotion that entered into me. Maybe a feeling of jealousy.  
“This place feels really familiar, but I can’t quite piece together the familiarity of it,” he said. “Like the streets seem familiar and all and I feel like this should be home but it doesn’t feel like home.” I thought for a second before saying anything. “The office building up there. That’s where my dad works.”  
“So we’ve reached it.”  
“Yeah, but I don’t think I want to go in.” I placed a hand on his shoulder.  
“You’ll never know if he remembers you or not unless you try to go in. Or maybe we can try your mother.”  
“My mother would be too far for us to get to. My dad basically lived inside of the office,” Stephen said.  
***  
We snuck inside of the office hiding behind a small cabinet that prevented us from seeing through.  
“I don’t know if I can face him.”  
Together we sat there and waited for something to happen. We waited for people to come out.  
A man with glasses looking through files stepped in the middle of the ground.  
“There he is,” Stephen said getting up and walking over to him. The man had the phone to his ear preventing any form of noise from getting to him.  
“Hello? Yes, yes we are working hard on it. Yes hon, I’m almost—Martha! Please just listen.”  
Stephen suddenly gave an aghast look. A withdrawn look appeared on his face.  
“He mentioned someone that I didn’t know. I have no idea who this is. I really don’t know—“  
He started to cry a little bit. “I hate myself. Why did I try to do something like this.”  
Suddenly another man came to the scene. “Keagon! Keagon Samuel!” he shouted as he started to make his way down the hallway. Keagon immediately stopped the phone and got into a straight posture.   
“Keagon! Where the fuck are my documents.” Keagon handed the documents to the man.   
“Sir I was just thinking…” The two men entered into an office. The door closed behind them, leaving the two of us wondering what to make out of all that.  
“My dad…isn’t married to the same mom.” Stephen was at a loss for words.  
“It’s ok,” I said, but Stephen shrugged it off. He sat there in the middle of the office ground, tears beginning to spring out of his eyes. He was tired. He was sick of living. The one thing that he thought he could live his own life towards. The one thing that he thought could possibly fulfill him—was shattered into one million pieces.  
“I’m sick of this shit,” he said. Both of us being too tired to think, we fell asleep in the middle of the office. Stephen had his head pressed against the wall, while I slept on the floor.  
***  
“Stephen, Stephen…” I kept pushing against his arms trying to wake him up. He remained in his rolled-up position.  
“I can’t get up. I don’t want to get up.”  
“Come on. We can’t stay here forever. Somebody is going to find us out and if they do, who knows where they might send us.”  
He didn’t respond. I tried rolling him over.  
“They said they would take me to the Niagra Falls, but…he lied.”   
“I’m sorry,” I said. What else was there for me to say.  
***  
Walking along the paved path proved to be difficult. Already we were outside of the forested area and now we were starting to enter into the more suburban streets. A sense of familiarity began to enter into me. It also started entering into Stephen as well.  
“I remember that my dad and I would go out and count all the red cars in the streets,” he said. “He said that he and I would eventually be able to do all kinds of things together. But then I got stuck at the hospital…” Shut up, I don’t care about your blubbering! Why the hell am I stuck with a guy like you? I wanted to kick the shit o of him.  
But I placed my arm around his like I actually did care for him. No words came out of him as tears started to stream down hi eyes.  
“You should try thinking about some of the fun times that you had with your dad,” I said. “Like think more about them.”  
“I can’t. Just the thought of him makes me feel like I’m about to explode!”  
“Ok how do you know that he broke up with your mom?” I asked. “You could just be jumping to a bunch of conclusions.”  
“I don’t know. Something about the fact he mentioned another woman. I just always knew he was going to break up with her some day. I alwa-always knew.”  
“Stephen you’re not making any sense.”  
“Ok, sorry about the fact that I started crying and all.” He wiped some of the tears off with his arm.  
“Don’t worry about it,” I replied. “I must say that all of us are human in one way or the other.” I looked over to see a trail of bees heading into a hive by one of the trees. “Just look at those bees. They keep working for the queen, and they never seem to let up with what they are doing.”  
“So?”  
“What I’m saying is that maybe if we try to keep moving forward mybe eventually we’ll be able to make it to the end.”  
“What end? What on earth are you talking about? We’ve been wondering out here in the middle of nowhere, and we haven’t even been able to find a proper destination!” I could sense the frustration within his voice. All I could say was that hopefully things turn out ok. What else was there really to say.  
He threw his pack in front of me. “I’m done with this.”  
“Leaving me again?”  
“I’m sick of traveling with you. I can find a way myself. I don’t need some girl to lead me wherever I go. I’m a man. I can take care of myself.” He went ahead of me for a couple more miles before he stopped inside of his tracks.  
“Fine,” I said. “Have it your way.” I also turned my back to him. In reality the entirety of the rest of the trip looked doubtful. I didn’t know where my family could possibly be. I couldn’t even tell how nearby I was to their dwellings.  
“Stephen…” My voice trailed off. Stephen really had left. I turned ahead of me uncertain of the trials that lay ahead of me.


	15. Chapter 15

I stepped into a muddy puddle, half expecting the earth to start breaking beneath me. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I kept repeating it over and over and over again.  
Why won’t the pain end? I pulled my muddy leg out of the puddle. A splotch of mud surrounded my ankle. I rubbed it with my hands. Sitting down, I breathed a deep sigh. This was how it was going to be for the rest of the time out here. Nothing.  
I sat down and buried my head in my legs. My short, wavy bangs slumped over and concealed a part of my face. It had been awhile since the last time that I washed.  
My muscles felt like they were about to break apart. I was tired. Just make it stop. Make it all stop.  
A bee flew by my face. Several bees. Begin to get up to my feet. Keep following the trail as I see more and more bees going back and forth.   
Stop by a fence where the bees are going back and forth from. Between the small cracks created by the gate, I could see several of them crawling around the hive.  
“Hello?!” I called. A face peeked out from across the gate.  
“Why hello there little girl!”  
“Sir, I need a place—“ I paused for a second, remembering all the other times when I had tried to move in with someone and how they had tried to kill me. “Actually never mind.”  
“No, no, come in,” the man said, opening up his gate. I thought there was a small aura of mist that seemed to surround the man, almost like he was fading or something. “What brings you here?”  
“I just—just,” I breathed a deep sigh. “I just needed a place where I could sleep.”  
“Well, you found just the spot. Have you ever tried bee-keeping before?”  
“No,” I said.  
“Well, I might as well need your help. Come over here.” He showed me how to tend to the bees. As the flying creatures began hovering around my net, I shook in fright.  
“I can’t do it.”  
“Easy there, I promise that they don’t bite or anything like that.” I moved my hands closer to the hive. The bees reflected off the net of my hat.  
“That ought to do it,” the man said.   
Then he faded away.  
Great, I thought. Now I’m going crazy. Everything had disappeared. The house had disappeared. The bee-keeping equipment as well as the hive. It had disappeared.  
In front of me were a collection of trees and a flowing stream. Alright then, I thought as I climbed up one of the tree trunks. The branch felt hard and rough to the touch of my own head.  
Sleep. Please sleep, I thought as I tried to rest. A beetle started crawling up my hair. Angry, I swiped it away with my hands, which caused me to almost lose balance off the branch I was on.   
Ok, this is going to be alright. This is…  
Normally I am not somebody that likes to cry. Normally I am not the type of person that goes into any type of hissy fit. I slammed my fist against the branch. Blood drooled onto the branch like the bursting forth of a large cut.  
“Ahhhh,” I whispered to myself. The blood started covering my entire hand. I couldn’t stay here.  
Sliding down from the branch, I took out my sock and wet it with the water bottle inside.  
“Is that the best you’ve got?” I shouted up to the sky. “Is that the best you’ve got?” I shouted again. My feet stubbed on the brambles on the ground. I crumpled to the ground, falling over.   
“Is that the best you’ve got?!” I shouted again, my voice raging with all kinds of frustration. I fell to the ground, tears wetting the earth.   
***  
“Who’s there?” Startled I got up from my sleeping position. Maybe the bee keeper had returned. Maybe he wasn’t a part of my imagination at all.   
“Keep searching!” I think someone is nearby. I dashed out of the ground and hid behind one of the trees.   
“No, wait!” I saw Stephen dash in front of the guards. He had his hands outstretched.  
“You! You’re one of them! Where is your partner?”  
“She died. The conditions were too much for her.” A part of me was shocked by his words, but when he lay down his pack, I saw what he was doing. “This is all I have left. There was no food. Nothing. I thought I might as well turn myself in since I didn’t have much of a chance.  
“Fine,” the officer said as he was taken away. I was too shocked with what I had just seen before my eyes. All this time he must have been following me from behind. I clung onto the tree trunk, afraid that maybe the police would try to look around here.   
I remained where I was for at least two hours. Dead silence followed what had just happened.  
I guess…you no longer felt like life was really worth living, I thought. But I guess it was the least you could do for me.  
I didn’t run, afraid of the fact that the police were going to catch me. I sank to my knees. I couldn’t lie out here. I just couldn’t live out here. I turned around to see that a house was behind me. I placed my hands on top of the wall, longing to go in.  
“Forget the crap,” I said as I sprinted into the rest of the woods. If I knocked on their door, would they let me in? Would I be welcomed inside of their dwelling? I didn’t even know what I was doing out here.  
I could just die out here, I thought. Maybe I could even make it back to the psychology hospital if it wasn’t for stupid Stephen.  
No, I needed to take a look inside. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I ran up to the door and started rapping on it.  
“Hello? Hello?!” I called. “Please someone, open up. I’m tired of living out here all alone.” The door crept open.  
“Who are you?” a woman asked. I looked into the door, completely relieved by the fact that somebody had opened the door. “Do you need shelter for the night—or, I don’t understand.”  
“Please, I just need someone who is willing to house me,” I said. “I’ve run away…Please whatever you do, don’t reject me. Please don’t reject me.”  
“O-ok,” she said. The ragged hair drooping down my shoulders. The sore feet bleeding from the oppression of nature. “Ok, I am willing to house you.”  
***  
I hadn’t remembered the last time that I had been able to sleep on a pillow. Feeling the water parse through my skin as I took a bath made me feel more alive than ever. All the dreariness of sitting inside of the confines of the natural world disappeared. Nobody was trying to kill me. As far as I was concerned, I was safe.  
Or maybe I wasn’t. Maybe there was still somebody out there that was trying to kill me. Maybe the police had figured that Stephen had lied and had decided to keep searching for me.  
***  
The woman took good care of me. She went by the name of Ms. Emily; however, her full name was Emily Darling. She always wore her hair in a bun, never letting it down unless she needed to go to sleep.  
She taught me a lot, from how to spell to the multiplication tables. She brought me up to speed about many of the things that I had missed out on in my absence from society.  
“Whatever this adds up to, I hope that I can steer you in the right direction,” she said. Before me, she never had much of a life, or at least that is what I heard whenever I asked her. She was always a quiet one, not having too much on her mind. It was I that gave her a purpose.  
I learned about gardening and planting, things that I honestly never really saw myself doing in the past. She always went on long afternoon walks if she ever wanted to catch a breeze.   
Soon I actually had the courage to actually walking outside on my own. I really liked the lake that I walked by in the middle of the road.   
I could see a little bit of a floating disk in the middle of the water. I looked around. Only a couple people seemed to be walking around in my midst. Most of them gave me glares as I contemplated what to do with the drum.  
Jumping into the water, I looked at what appeared to be a drum. Exerting my strength upon it, I pulled the drum out of the water. Sea-weed covered the drumhead and tangled onto some of the wires. I saw that the snare was still very much intact.  
I tapped my finger on top of the drumhead. The sound of the snares still rung true to the memories of when I had seen the rock band in the outside world. Rusting off some of the underwater gravel, I saw the emblem Pearl written on the top of the head.  
***  
“Mom!” I called. “I found this large drum underwater.” Ms. Emily hurried over to me when I got back.  
“Why do you always seem to be able to find all this junk lying around?” she asked in a sarcastic tone of voice. Together with our arms we hulled the drum inside. “Found some treasure I see.” I tapped my finger on the snare head. Each time the snares rung, I found myself shivering with a lot of fright. “We’ll keep this down in the attic…”  
“NO!” I shouted.  
“I meant so it can dry. You can stay down there if you want.”  
***  
I kept tapping my finger against the drum, trying to remember the sounds from the psychologist hospital. I wonder what had happened since the last time I had been there. What was really going on there?  
“You seem very connected with that thing,” Ms. Emily said. “I’ll be upstairs fixing us some lunch.”  
“Ok,” I called back.  
***  
As I looked at the drum, memories of the past started swiveling inside of me. The time that I had spent watching the band became more and more fixated within my brain. A single tear drop fell from my eye, wetting the drumhead with a tiny sprinkle.


End file.
